Nothing Important

~The same fence that shuts others out shuts you in.

~Bill Copeland

Dear blog readers,

I have nothing important to say. Yep, that's why I have a blog!!! No really, I was reading for American Lit and decided I needed a ten minute break. So I got on the internet to check my Facebook and whatnot... that was an hour ago.

I would ask how it's possible to waste so much time online, but I think everyone has had such an experience... or a few million. And this is guaranteed if you're a student. So I don't feel the need to go there. But blogger is my last stop before I go get something done... or maybe eat some dinner. Well, if we have any clean silverware left, which isn't likely.

But, I was able to get a few things done... I found my priority date for Fall 2011 registration... in three weeks. And I started looking up class times and teachers for the classes I need. I don't know what it is but I get so excited when it comes to planning my new class schedule. Even when I know I'll be hating all those classes soon enough. It's just exciting to see how it all fits together and for something new!

I also typed up all the authors for American Lit and what they wrote for my second mid-term this weekend. So I can memorize who wrote what and how to spell their names and the titles of their pieces so I can match them with the quotes on the test from their pieces. Ya, almost all the points I lost on my last test were from that section.

And, I'm working on getting my blogging caught up-so I can mark that off my list!

Someday I'll Write a Paper...

~Don't be too harsh to these poems until they're typed. I always think typescript lends some sort of certainty: at least, if the things are bad then, they appear to be bad with conviction.

~Dylan Thomas

Someday I'm going to write a paper that incorporates all the idiotic corrections my teachers always give me. It's like I have to find some strange balance in between everything that is impossible. It's like every paper changes entirely. And when you try to fix one thing something else isn't good enough.

And thus, it is days like today I wish I could major in math.

When there really are answers and as long as you did work to get there and you have the right answer, there's no dispute. Which is funny because I've always liked how English was open for discussion. That it was a way to explore your thoughts and seek to understand for yourself and in your own way. And for all the talk of "the question 'What is this poem about?' destroys poetry" you really are doing that to my essays.

Maybe I'm just a little irked because of my bad grade. And I really tried. Which really makes me hesitate to start the paper for the same class that's due Thursday. Why try? At least then I'll actually feel like I deserve the crappy grade I receive. And they are the dumbest writing assignments I've ever had... but that's another issue.

Yes, someday I will write a paper that repeats everything enough to make sure the reader knows what I'm referring to. One that points out exactly what thoughts were mine and what were the writer of the piece I'm analyzing-without using "I." I paper that works through the paper without giving a summary of it. That describes the way the author wrote but with all new information. One that has enough quotes but more descriptions of them. That painstakingly explains every minor detail but only gives the needed information.

Yes, someday I will write the paper all my teachers expect. And they will bash it until they feel it deserves a D grade.

French Oral

~Every American child should grow up knowing a second language, preferably English.

~Mignon McLaughli

Oh Mondays... haha, no, today hasn't been too bad. I love this rainy weather and the day went by pretty fast. I actually felt like I knew what was going on in French-which was kind of nice. And I'm trying to get ahead on my reading for the week so I can focus on my British Lit paper due Thursday.

The worst part of today had to be that dang French Oral test. It combined my hatred of French, my horrible test taking skills, and my fear of being recorded. Ya, I was so looking forward to that. I don't particularly like talking to the computer... haha, well... in French and saying what they want me to say. But talking to the computer in a room full of silent people=not fun at all.

And I didn't help that two girls from my class were there as well-then they could hear how bad a truly am. Wonderful. Well, haha, it's not like they couldn't tell before. I was kind of glad when my sound system didn't work and I got to go to the far side of the room in the dark with no one around so I wouldn't disturb the others.

I totally blanked though. I had no idea what to say and I started messing up my verbs and I couldn't go back and fix them and my teacher can just go through and hear all my mistakes. I hated the oral exams where we met with the teacher, but they were better than this...

So, if I fail the oral, I wouldn't be surprised.

Oh Parking...

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

~Claudia Ghandi

Just got back to Provo. I don't particularly like coming back. It's not so bad here but I just have a hard time right after I've been home. Because I miss what I just left. I miss my family and having people around to talk to all the time and not worrying about homework and not having to cook and, of course, my boyfriend :(

So I find the parking situation around BYU ridiculous. Really. There is nowhere near enough parking for all the student housing they have crammed in here. Not all the students have cars-thank goodness. I can usually find a spot in one of the two small parking lots for my complex. But I try to plan my outings around when the most people will also be gone-how sad.

The one night that I got back at one in the morning I was really worried about parking but I actually found a spot to parallel park after only ten minutes or so. That was pretty amazing. I finally just parked down the street and across the busy street and called my dad and talked to him while I walked home. It scares me to walk around in the dark-even in Provo. I have pepper spray-but with my purse, laptop, dance bag, and two shopping bags, I don't know that I could have gotten it out...

Had a pretty good weekend at home. I know, seems like I go home a lot. I do. But not enough. Just sayin'. Hung out with a friend from high school, spent Saturday with my boyfriend, went to my nephew's baby blessing, family dinner... time goes by so fast at home!

Midterms!

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Want to hear again my most repeated line?! I hate French. There ya go. We'll just get that out of the way. Today I had a rolling final in my British Literary History class. It was mostly about sonnets and lyric poetry-I think I did okay. I hesitate to say well because even when I think I do well... I don't :)

Then I came home and studied for a while and went to the testing center for my second grammar midterm... ya, I did better than last time! Still got a, um, F? Ya, I suck. And I even checked all my answers and thought I new what I was doing. Oh well. The final isn't for a month and a half so I'll study then. I think my French homework has further ruined my test taking skills. I get two chances to try every assignment-so I just guess on the first and whatever way is right I fix the rest. Haha, not so with tests!

I then walked out of the testing center, around to the other entrance, and went in to study for my French test. And, my MP3 Player decided to die. Well, the battery was over half and then it would all the sudden freak out and die. I turned it on several times with such results. I did get a few songs out of it! Pretty sure I flunked. And I have never spent so long in the testing center in one day... or taken two tests there in the same day.

So, I'm ready for the weekend. I get to go home! And yesterday was fantastic! My boyfriend came to see me! Wonderful night away from my apartment and homework and everything. Haha, and of course I love being with him!

I miss taking my laundry home

~Every day is conquerable by its hours, and every hour by its minutes.

~Robert Brault

I don't really feel like blogging today. No motivation to do homework-well, mostly cuz all I have left this week is a paper to start and three tests to study for. And, despite yesterday's devotional, I do cram before a test. Three midterms tomorrow... why would I study now when I'm just going to forget???

Can I just say how much I love country music?! It's so amazing. I've missed listening to the radio in my car everyday and my MP3 Player for eight hours a day... alright, I just miss a half hour or so of that :) But I listen to music on YouTube now... which means I have to remember songs, think of ones I might want to listen to.

Haha, the other day I ended up listening to Disney music. I realized I missed a lot of Disney-or I just really forgot a lot of it. I remember girls camps and Oakcrests when we sang the songs or that's all we could listen to so we had dance parties to it in our cabins late at night. And half the time I didn't know the words. Really, sometimes I didn't even remember hearing those songs before in my life. So that was pretty fun, to listen to some...

Gah! I'm sitting here trying to write and as I'm typing sentences I am parsing them out in my head to see if there are any major errors. I guess that could be good-practice for tomorrow's test. But then, since I really don't think I know what I'm doing, I don't know how helpful it really is :)

Oh, so, yesterday I finished two loads of laundry. So dang frustrating. I actually found two machines that worked on my first trip to the laundry room. And I even had $1 bills to get quarters. Just enough really-after how many times I had to run the dryers. I put the loads in the washers without a problem. I came back a half hour later and the one was done-so I put it in a dryer and started that. I avoided the one that didn't work last Friday...

The other machine was different so I had to go back twenty minutes later. And... every dryer that was done was full of dry clothes-all, like, four of them. I hadn't taken my basket-so I carried a pile of wet clothes back to my apartment. I went back to put them in the machine after I took out my other load and everything here gets fuzzy...

One time I went back and my wet clothes from the dryer were on the dirty table-someone had taken over my machine-haha, that apparently hadn't even worked! I managed to get both loads in different machines at the same time-pretty sure I dried each one at least twice. I'm going to make a chart for myself and keep track of which dryers don't work so well. One time I went back there was a girl in there I talked to-she said she felt like it was a puzzle she had to figure out each time-which ones worked. She'd just put a load in one I don't think dried my load that day...

Okay, long, pointless, maybe confusing story... but, it is my blog. So there you go :)

Devotional!

~I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.

~Eartha Kitt

First day of March! And it's so beautiful outside! I didn't even need a jacket on campus! I'm pretty excited about being able to study outside and enjoy the warmth. Too bad I didn't have any of my homework with me today. And that I was starving. Or maybe I would have stayed on campus... and avoided walking by the voting table when there weren't other people to keep the representatives occupied. That was fun.

I love that we have devotionals at BYU. One of the highlights of my week! Today it was, in fact, kind of a slap in the face. But it was such a good talk. You know, I've always love the LDS atmosphere here. (I was going to say atmosphere in general, but that's not true. Some of the culture here is a bit extreme) But I hadn't realized how my classes don't seem all that much more religious. Ya, scripture references come up a lot. And there isn't any swearing. Alright, much swearing... thank you British Lit professor...

But the professor who spoke today talked about how he has a religious thought everyday sometime during class. It doesn't have anything to do with what they are talking about. But that would be so nice. I went through my classes in my head and the only one that I feel spiritually uplifted after is D&C-and, well, duh. I wish there was more of this.

But the part that was like a slap in the face was when he talked about not just making it through school. It shouldn't be like drudgery. We need to stop playing the system and cramming and regurgitating what we memorized. We are supposed to learn for eternity. Well, I do feel school is a drudgery. Even sitting in the Marriot Center listening the the talk I saw, a few rows in front of me, a girl sketching a picture of a little girl. And I felt this wave of... well, missing drawing. I miss drawing, photography, creative writing, all the fun classes that I don't have the money or time or credits for here.

I know, I need to do more of that on my own time, but I just don't enjoy my classes. I'm just not sure how to get excited about learning. I know not learning things well enough now will be bad in the future when I don't know what I'm doing in my career. Haha, or can't get a job because I don't know what I'm doing. And sometimes, when I think about it, it is amazing to be here. I should enjoy it and make the most of it. And to think I only have a year left... but doesn't everyone regret they way they spent their time in _______ (fill in the blank)? So really, I'm just living an essential life experience!!!