Just Do Something

~Everyday there must be something I can't do, otherwise it's boring.
~Monet Robier

Being consumed by homework, I have found time goes by all too quickly (as in I should have gotten more done last night) but this week has taken forever! Haha, and yet, it feels good to be productive.

And, I am amazing myself with how I am handling this week without chocolate. Alright, I have one bar of chocolate-but to eat it would be to officially run out of chocolate. So, I was eating spoonfuls of my frosting (meant for that cake I am too lazy to bake-and prefer not to bake in my kitchen due to its constant state of grossness) and laughed when I saw the nutrition facts. Uh, more like "lack of nutrition" facts. But hey, it's the end of the semester... and I swear I am going to start working out when I move home.

Change of gears. So, I have been working on being productive-quite a necessary thing this week. And I've found that I can plan as much as I want when to do what homework. But I spend more time planning than doing homework sometimes. So I contented myself with just doing something. Granted I will be up all night working on a paper that wasn't the something I have buckled down to do, but I have finished exactly 60 things on my to-do-list this week as of right now.

I argue with myself that it would be better to wait and read that chapter at the library because while I am home with my computer I can do my online research. But then, I don't want to do online research... so I spend some time on Facebook, reading blogs, watching YouTube videos, and writing in my journal. Oh, and then I don't feel like going to the library :) And nothing gets done. I do hope I can maintain this "just do something" mindset for a while...

Sorry I'm Negative

Finals Week

Where fun goes to die

Coming to a school near you

~Facebook Flair

(I know it's not finals yet-but I liked the quote and I can feel them coming)

Honestly, all I can think about right now is homework. Well, that and finally being done with homework :) Only ten more days of classes! Oh, and I found out today I have three finals on one day-the last day of finals, in fact. I'll have BOM 8-10 am, Modern American Usage 11-2, and British Literary History 8-10 pm. At least I have all finals week to study...

Last week before my ELang. class started everyone was talking about the end of the semester and everything that comes with it. Someone stated something I totally relate to. They said that you get so much done that you think you deserve a break, but you don't have time to take a break because you have so many other things to do. Ya, obvious, I know. But really, the last day and a half has felt like a week. I seriously thought today was Thursday when I woke up.

I'm thinking I can get everything done if I don't sleep for the next three nights-maybe. I honestly can't see how it'll all get done. I totally let my literary criticism paper go and sluffed class because I haven't even done any research yet. I just keep reminding myself I only have just over three weeks left.

Happier note! I am actually ahead when it comes to my ELang. course project :) It's almost half way done and not due for two weeks!

Gratitude

~Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.
~Murphy's Law

It's going to be a stressful next two weeks...oh, and then finals' week. First off, I have to say I love Sundays-especially Fast Sundays. I love the break from homework, the change in pace, feeling the spirit, feeling hope and happiness... And I hate how it fades so quickly.

Yesterday we were singing "Count Your Many Blessings" in Relief Society and it really made me think. A year ago January we had a family home evening during which my mom gave us all a notebook and challenged us to write five things we were grateful for each day. It was really fun and enlightening. I couldn't repeat anything and I learned how to turn my bad days around and see blessings-no matter how small.

I did this for several weeks and quit after the week we spent in the hospital. I felt that I had too much to catch up on, too many blessings to list. I kind of regret stopping, my days were a little happier when I did it. But singing that song yesterday made me think of the good things right now. Yes, I have so much homework, tests, and papers that it makes me want to curl up in pajamas and eat chocolate and watch a movie when I think about it all. But here are a few blessings, things I am grateful for right now :)

-My family-all they do for me and how much I know they care about me-even if I'm not around a lot. I love them so much!

-My friends-haha, I don't see them much but when I do it's like it was when we saw each other every day.

-The Gospel-I don't know what I would do without it. I know everyone says that, but it's true. It's what gets me through all my trials and helps me know it'll all be okay.

-The weather lately! Yesterday I went out and sat in the grass with my roommates and read. It felt so nice outside-it feels and smells like spring! But also, I love the rain, so it's okay that it's not all hot yet :)

-All the credits I have behind me-I am glad I finished my Associates Degree already because looking at another two years of college with what I already have would be discouraging.

-The opportunity to go to France-I am super scared and often don't think I can do it, but I am excited at the same time and know it's a chance to learn a lot and grow.

-BYU!!! I love the environment here :) Yes, there are interesting comments and jokes and cliches about dating and everything else. "Overheard @BYU" on Facebook is an excellent example of how strange BYU students can be-but I love it!

-Going home for summer-I can't wait to be around my family more and be able to relax. I've never been so excited about summer-the shorts, popsicles, reading for fun, naps, the trampoline, going on walks, even the swimming pool-not generally my favorite thing.

-General Conference-I am so excited to listen to Conference!

-I'm even grateful BYU doesn't have Spring Break-it means I get out earlier than most other schools and sometimes it's easier to continue when you don't have a break. Like how it's harder to start hiking again after you've taken a break.

I could list tons of things-but I need to get back to that homework that will hopefully, someday, become the belssing of a degree (haha, if I pass!)

Frustration

~Character is what emerges from all the little things you were too busy to do yesterday, but did anyway.
~Mignon McLaughlin


I just have a question-how in the world do I talk myself out of everything?!

Maybe I should explain a little. See, I think too much. Ya, a lot of people say that, but it's true. Sometimes I really enjoy just thinking-you find out some interesting things about yourself. But then, sometimes you find out some scary things too :P And then I start talking to myself... I do that way too much. Like, with sarcasm and everything-it can be amusing though.

I've always considered myself pretty good with money. I don't just go buy whatever I want-though I don't always just buy what I need either. But grocery shopping for myself... let's just say I get home and can think of at least two or three things I wish I would have let myself buy. Like, it's Easter time, right? And I LOVE the Cadbury Carmel Eggs. I bought a bunch when I was home last-in fact, all I bought on that shopping trip was chocolate... didn't last long though :) Well, I've been telling myself for days that I could get some if I went shopping for things I needed-paper towels and Clorox wipes and soap. Well, I got what I needed today... and somehow convinced myself I didn't need or shouldn't get chocolate.

Sad day. I'm out of chocolate frosting, Smuckers fudge, candy bars, and Cadbury Eggs. Dang! Haha, and somehow I paid twice as much as I normally do at the store-and I didn't go full-out grocery shopping or anything. I swear it used to cost less to feed myself for three weeks than it does when I go to the store every week or two now. (though, paper towels and other necessities are overpriced in my opinion)

And then there's just the simple everyday act of talking myself out of homework. Haha, that one's not as hard to figure out. I just can't figure how I can manage to waste four or six or eight hours and get one assignment done. Just doesn't make sense. Like now, I have a "Par Ecrit," an"a l'ecoute," a whole book to read and critique and give examples for-chapter by chapter, an "Annotated Bibliography," an eight page paper on The Left Hand of Darkness, a capture on an article for that eight page paper, and a French test I really need to get better than a D on this week. How in the world have I managed not to do any of it? Well, I've done at least 15 things on my to-do-list this weekend, but it hasn't even made a dent.

Alright, that was kind of just a rant. But I have to say, I really do frustrate myself sometimes...

Ballet

~In life, as in dance: Grace glides on blistered feet.

~Alice Abrams

Alright, I had a whole other blog post written. It was a fast one and maybe I'll post it on another day but today I want to talk about dance. It's long but there is so much more I could write...

When I was three years old my parents put me in ballet and tap-I don't know why but I will always be grateful for it. Over the years I went to four different studios and did tap, jazz, hip hop, and even gymnastics. But ballet was the only one I stuck with every year.

It was always my dream to get pointe shoes. They were beautiful and I wanted to be just like the older dancers at my studio. And I remember how excited I was that Saturday I got my first pair. We got them in the summer and it was a few weeks before we wore them in class-and every day I would get them out and look at them and try them on. Looking back, I was so young; I can't believe I had pointe shoes then.

When we started wearing them in class we were so excited! I was on pointe for five years. It was always exciting to be able to do something new on them or get farther over in my arch. But they were painful. There were days when we had several hours of class we knew we would be on pointe. Some days we would wear flats and hope our teacher didn't make us change.

Taping my toes was never particularly fun, though I liked that I could do it, that I knew what it was for... made me feel like those older dancers... My feet always hurt though. I had ingrown toenails, I developed a bunion, and I had tendonitis in my ankle. But it was worth it when I could dance in them, when I got better at one thing or another. And I guess I kind of got used to the pain, it gave me pleasure knowing I worked hard.

I love the feeling of being sore. It means I did something difficult, something that is strengthening me. I loved feeling my muscles stretch and the control I had over how I moved. My mom used to comment on how she thought I liked the strictness of ballet. I'd have to say I agree. I loved that there were certain places my arms and legs and head were supposed to be-on certain counts. And I knew the steps-especially barre exercises-so well I could let my mind focus on stretching and tightening and holding myself like a dancer.

When I was at school I always had dance moves running through my head. I would dance around the kitchen at home. It was never far from my mind. I never imagined doing anything else with my afternoons. Dance was always better than school or watching TV or anything else that may have occupied my time.

You know, I was never very good. And I'm not fishing for compliments or anything. I've seen video of myself dancing. I used to watch other girls in my company, amazed at how they danced. I wasn't flexible. Honestly, I never got down in my splits-it was humiliating when we sat in our splits because I was always the highest off the ground. I was never fully over my point shoes-despite stretching my ankles day and night during homework or watching TV. And I hated smiling-it always looked fake because I was focusing on dancing. I was fine smiling while performing-but not at myself in the mirror.

But I have to say I was always progressing-even slowly :)

I miss it-all the time. I try not to think about it really. I danced for 13 years. I was only going to dance through high school, but I hated quitting after my sophomore year. I'd always hated how some girls would just stop showing up, never come back. I didn't know how you did that. But I found out.

That summer after tenth grade I had a job at Custom Events-they put on carnavals. I loved that job. But one day, about a month and a half after I started, I hurt my knee. It was stupid really. I was working on hair coloring. We had a table set up and a box with many cans of paint in it (it's amazing how much paint you can go through in three hours). I was working with one other person and we'd set up a system. We had a bag for all the tickets the kids gave us that we had put in the box. I leaned down to put some tickets in and heard my knee pop twice. It moved left and then right and everything went white. I didn't feel well but I'm not one to complain so I kept working. I limped all over the feild that night picking up cones and rolling cords. My knee was swollen twice the size by the time I got home. I sat alone in my room that night and iced it and bawled. I knew then I wouldn't dance again.

I wore a brace to work the rest of that summer. I didn't go to the ballet summer program-in fact, I even babysat for my ballet teacher one of those days they had class. When September came I went back and forth with thinking I could try to dance to knowing it wasn't worth it. Not that dance wasn't worth it, but that it wasn't worth hurting my body so much. My knee still hurts sometimes.

That night it happened, I listened to my MP3 Player-listened to the song called If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens. Even now I believe there was a reason-though I'm not entirely sure what it was.

Ballet taught me a lot of things though-a lot of things I couldn't learn without it. There are the obvious things: it kept me in shape (something I really miss :) ) and it gave me an extracurricular activity. But I learned a lot about friendship too. There was a closeness in my company-something that comes from going through hours and hours of work together-sweat and blood-literally. I grew up with those girls-many of us spent all 13 years together. It was the kind of thing that came from being in something together. We were a team. Backstage is something that will always amaze me :) How we all helped each other get ready-sharing make-up and hairspray and bobby pins and lip stick. Making sure we had all our accessories and changing our hair scrunchies between dances. It was the joy when another dance class in the studio would win a competition or helping them clean their dance. It was the Saturday practices, the late nights, the long dress rehersals and playing 'Simon Says' in the hallways backstage. It was sprinting in tutus and pointe shoes because you almost miss your entrance and tip-toeing behind the backdrop during a performance. And I don't think enough words would ever give it justice.

I learned about discipline-but also how to have fun. I learned how to, not break the rules, but use them to my advantage-how to move in the correct positions and yet make a dance my own. I learned the value of repetition-even if sometimes it wasn't so fun. I learned all that went on in preperation for one night, one show. I may have gotten nervous backstage but when those lights were on me, when I danced on stage in front of a full auditorium, I felt alive.

I miss it-all of it. Even the painful parts and the steps and stretches I used to dread. I miss looking forward to it and getting lost in the music. I miss the girls-and find myself kind of jealous of those still back at Rocky Mountain Dance. I may have hated having to quit, but I will forever be grateful for those 13 years I was able to do ballet.

Unwritten

~Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.
~Anonymous

I absolutely love the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Part of it, I have to say, is the happy beat but I also really like the words. Yes, it repeats a lot-and rather than figure out where it cuts and repeats exactly I just put the whole thing below. I really liked this song in high school. I like how it talks about how, like, anything can happen from this point on, nothing is set in stone. It's almost like life is a book you're writing for yourself.

I remember one day when I was trying to do homework with a friend and we cranked up the music on my MP3 Player. This song came up on shuffle. We laughed pretty hard at the line "staring at the blank page before you" as we were thoroughly stuck on whatever subject it was we were working on and had written nothing. I would guess it was Chemistry...

But it also went along with our lives being like books and how once we got out of high school we would be able to choose to do whatever we wanted. I am comforted by the idea that what I am doing now hasn't somehow decided the rest of my life for me. Yes, it has an impact on it, but I can change :) And it talks about how no one else can experience your life for you-how you need to experience it to its fullest for yourself. I also kind of like how it relates to how I want to write. Right now I think being an essayist sounds fun. I just don't have the imagination to create a whole book-I can't fathom it. Though, I will publish at least one book-it's one of my major life goals!

Unwritten

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

----------

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

----------

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

----------

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

----------

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

----------

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

----------

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

----------

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

----------

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

----------

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

Cleaning

~The man who wins may have been counted out several times but he didn't hear the referee.

~H. E. Jansen

Today I was really thinking about how much I love my mom :) I am extremely grateful for all she has done and continues to do. And while there are a million things I could say on the subject I just want to talk about one.

A lot of changes came with moving out. New city, new school, new classes, new ward, first calling, not knowing anyone, grocery shopping, finances, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, taking out the trash, making sure there is enough hand soap, toilet paper, dish towels, paper towels, garbage bags, Clorox wipes, Ziplocs, dish soap...

Well, I like things clean, I do. Growing up my Mom always kept the house clean. For years this just seemed... normal? The dishes were always done, my laundry back in a day, the floors mopped and the tables and counters wiped down. When I started visiting friend's houses I was disgusted by how messy things were. There were crumbs everywhere and clutter and smells. Haha, no, it wasn't terrible, just not as clean. Since then I've laughed whenever my mom mentions how dirty her house is.

I probably shouldn't laugh. It really isn't messy, but I am glad she cleans. I love going home now and how clean and clutter-free everything is. Love how the microwave is wiped down and the floors don't turn my socks black. Love how I'm not worried about putting my towel on the bathroom counter or laying on the carpet.

I don't like cleaning exactly. I like having things clean though and sometimes I get the urge to clean... but I prefer to clean up my own messes. My apartment has dish days. This is a constant struggle for us. With six of us we each take a day of the week and we are supposed to rotate Sundays. Doesn't exactly work and I have Monday-which is fun :/ For the last two months or so we have tried to have everyone do their own dishes-not working. Not sure why either. Haha, and I have never seen so much recycling in my life! Even the row of recycle bins out our back door are often overflowing. Oh, and don't buy the cheap trash bags. It's worth two more bucks not to have it rip every time you try and take the trash out :)

The picture below is of our trash can (on the left) and our recycling bin (the... mountain on the right). You can't see the trash bag as it is about half a foot down the inside of the can-great fun, and it happens a lot. This was about a month ago but I'd have to say it is about two days worth of garbage and maybe a week's worth of recycling.




It amazes me how much of everything we go through and how fast everything gets dirty. It's frustrating as well. I would love to just clean things down as I go but living with other people there always seems to be another mess. Haha, not to be mean though. It is cleaner than it could be :)

When I go home I try to keep things clean more now and try to help do the dishes and what-not. I am grateful for growing up in a clean home and hope I can keep my future home as clean as my mom keeps hers :)

Behind

~Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
~Gilbert Keith Chesterton

The week's going by pretty fast but I can tell it's going to be a long weekend. Papers and projects and studying... such fun. Today I sat out in the sun while it snowed. I took a test I know I failed. I didn't do half the things I was supposed to. I'm happier than I would expect under this stress :)

I've had a lot on my mind lately and rather than try to work it out enough to write (which even though it would probably be good for me, I don't particularly have the time) I copied another poem I wrote below. I also wrote this for Creative Writing. It's not my best work but it turned out kind of interesting. We were to open the dictionary and pick three words we had never seen before and write a poem using those words. Isn't too hard to pick them out :) Pretty sure I wrote this when I was under homework stress so if it sounds depressing that would probably be why.

(oh, and it won't let me have some lines tabbed in-which I think adds a lot to the poetry-sorry)

Behind

Imagine chilled and icy bars.
Patterns across the unreachable world.
Frozen
in this prison,
acquiescing daily, hourly,
to what you say I am.

I can see it now,
the catafalque weighed down
with the carcass of my cold, still life.
Waiting.
Waiting for the eulogy to begin.
Silence burns my ears.

I wish for my furlough,
a while, a time,
free from these walls.
I glimpse freedom and know
I'll never be there.
Is it worth trying?

A butterfly glides above me.
Graceful in its rough flight.
Rising from every slight fall.

My dry hands slide down
rubicund bars
like sandpaper smoothing.
Bars that line my sight.

Scattered Thoughts

~It is not the cards you are dealt but what you do with them that counts.

~Anonymous

I had an amazing weekend :) Probably one of the best, if not THE best, since I moved to BYU. It was also very thought provoking, but I'll get to that. First of all, I love this weather-as in the weather this weekend-though it is currently overcast and rainy and that's usually my favorite. And how it stays light later! It's pretty much amazing.

Friday I went grocery shopping and did homework-yuck! Haha, I went to three of the four matches(?) of the Men's Volleyball game and then pretty much gave up on homework and watched "Star Trek" (good movie). Saturday I got to sleep in and convinced myself I deserved the weekend without homework (like that was hard). I got to see my sister and her family and go to lunch with them-even if I didn't eat :) And we went to a park-it was so nice outside, I would be happy if it didn't get more than ten degrees warmer than it was on Saturday all Summer!

Saturday afternoon two of my best friends came up to visit me! It was great just to be able to talk to them and eat junk and watch movies and laugh... If there's one thing I miss about high school it would be seeing my friends every day. One friend goes to the U of U-BYU's rival school. There was about as much reference to that fact as I expected :) Sunday we went to church-I don't know that I've ever had such a hard time focusing! Haha, I normally get mad at people who whisper... We also went to my ward BBQ for 'dinner' (3:30 just seems like a little bit of a weird time for dinner) :P and they had to go before it got too dark.

Wow, that was a quick overview :) So, I realized something this weekend. Well, probably several things as I am still sorting out my thoughts and I'm not entirely sure where this will go yet. I really thought I was done with high school. Haha, yes, I graduated. I mean, done missing it, done wishing I could go back and fix things, just done with it. I don't know that I would want to live it all over again. They were some rough years. I guess the only thing I really miss is having friends-talking during class, having people to eat lunch with, to wander the halls with, to go to things with. I miss seeing people I recognized all over school and knowing more than half of the people in my classes.

When I got my Associates Degree I looked back at all those classes I took and didn't remember I thing I 'learned.' All those concurrent classes, all the homework, the tests, the essays, the late nights, the going in to talk to teachers... The most important part of almost anything is the people. I look back on that concurrent Chemistry class I should not have passed with some fondness because I had a friend in the class (and the fact that we took chocolate and sugar cubes many days). And that Psychology class I also shouldn't have passed (geez, how did I graduate?!) that I enjoyed because I had a friend to ignore the professor with while we talked and colored-and even got out early and nearly got in trouble for 'sluffing.' It's like how the best part of the holidays is being with family. It's the people that make things worthwhile.

I also felt this weekend what it was like to really be myself here at college. I realized how fake I've been for the last six and a half months. But when you hold up a 'fake' image for that long, it just becomes the you you are in that situation. My world of the quiet, out-of-the-way, ignored girl clashed with the person I am with my friends. I became the person I am with friends :) I felt...alive...not numb. From leaving campus Saturday to being with friends I realized how dull my life has become, how boring I am.

Yes, I feel like I've changed a lot since high school. I can do more things by myself. I've learned things and met new people and had entirely new experiences. But in my struggling to keep my grades above F's (and failing-no pun intended) I let go of that social-ness. When I came to college I was going to be the person I am around friends and family from the start so people wouldn't stereotype me as the quiet, awkward girl. But see, I'm that person I want to be when I'm comfortable. And I'm not comfortable around new people or in new situations.

Wow, this is turning out kind of depressing! Haha, that's not what I mean at all. It's all been very enlightening. I also realized something else that's fairly interesting. It's all fine and good to think you like someone. And then maybe you write about it in your journal where no one will see it. But when you actually tell people who you like, you have to know you like them, to be comfortable with that fact. I don't know that I really want to go into that more but it's made me think lately...

Anyway, those are my scattered thoughts from this weekend :) I know I didn't do them justice but I'm still working through them myself.

Pet-Peeves

~The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
~Anna Quindlen

Alright, so I have a few pet-peeves. Haha, that's probably an understatement, but I will only write about a few. I went grocery shopping today. I do not like grocery shopping, well, not alone at least. For one, I get too many things I shouldn't eat so much of-I eat a lot of junk :) But people are frustrating at the store. They stand in the way and walk really slow and are generally not very considerate of other people. I was thinking today how maybe there should be lanes painted on the floor. I know that's too much but also, I doubt it would do anything to help.

I never realized how rude drivers were. Well, I did, but once I started walking almost everywhere, it's become more apparent because I'm not used to driving. People on the road drive me crazy. Thank goodness for my radio :) I don't know what I'd do without it.

My biggest pet-peeve probably has to do with language. In my Modern American Usage class we learned that all dialects are equal. I have to remind myself of this when people pronounce milk 'melk' or the way people say either 'ither.' But with writing, you should be able to at least look over what you are saying. 'They're,' 'their,' and 'there' are really not that hard. There is a difference between 'to' and 'too.' Sometimes I just have to laugh at the language and grammar on Facebook. I know it's very informal writing, but really?!

I don't want to sound like I'm ranting or anything but that's the biggest thing today. I love my Friday schedule-I only have class 11-1! And no night class! But I seem to be taking my sweet time to do my homework. It's true, busy people get things done...

Time

~Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.
~Katherine Mansfield

SO glad it's almost the weekend! Can't wait to hang out with some friends I haven't seen in two months :) So, I wanted to share something I have been more aware of lately. It sounds stupid, I am aware, but I have noticed that time doesn't stop.

See, I told you, sounds obvious. But then, it's really helped me the past few weeks. It doesn't matter how much we are dreading something or how excited we are, it will come at the same speed as everything else (even if it doesn't always feel like it). Some days, that's what gets me through the day. When I can look at the clock and realize all those classes and tests and presentations and papers have to be done or turned in in however many hours. There is no way around it. Days like that, I seem to numb myself to everything going on around me and time just goes by.

Yes, it can be frustrating that it won't speed up. Sometimes I would like it to just stop, just freeze life where it is-either to enjoy what I'm doing or to take a time-out from life for a minute. But I can't, and I honestly think that's kind of cool :)

Wednesday

~Believe While Others~

by William Arthur Ward

------------

Believe while others are doubting.

Plan while others are playing.

Study while others are sleeping.

Decide while others are delaying.

Prepare while others are daydreaming.

Begin while others are procrastinating.

Work while others are wishing.

Save while others are wasting.

Listen while others are talking.

Smile while others are frowning.

Commend while others are criticizing.

Persist while others are quitting.

Today turned out to be a pretty good day :) I'm loving this weather, which surprises me because I love the cold. Though, I didn't enjoy the oven my car became driving to Wal-Mart this afternoon. (So, my air conditioning can work, but not well and the whole car shakes and such...) It's so nice to be able to sit outside and do homework again! And best of all is how it stays light later! But it all makes me feel like I should be wearing shorts and curling up with a good book and going to the pool and sleeping in and eating popsicles... oh, I'm excited about summer.

In my English Language class Brandon Mull, author of the Fablehaven books, came to talk to us. I haven't read the books but if I ever get some time I would like to. He talked about how he wrote and published and such. It was super interesting and actually applicable to what I want to do after school :) I went to the post office this afternoon and turned everything in for my passport. It was easier than I expected, but sure costs more than I would have liked. The lady also said the price goes up soon-I don't know anything about that but if it does I'm glad mine is in now :)

I also paid my first fee for my study abroad and am watching my checking account die this week :/ I need a student loan soon-something I hoped I would never have to get but there is no way around it. It'll be worth it though :) I've been worried about getting the passport, paying the fees, and doing homework for my prep class but I got really excited when I got on Google Maps and, like, went down on the streets in Paris to see what it actually looks like!

Pessimism

~When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not going to be my best week ever but I'm super excited for this weekend! So, as I don't have anything much to say I wanted to share something I wrote last semester for my Creative Writing class. For our final we had to take an abstract topic and make it concrete and it had to be short enough to read in five minutes to the class. Needless to say, I procrastinated. I got around to writing it the day before we were to meet to share them. It was my last final and I was stressed out, irritated, and had not had a good week (finals are rough, I dislike them immensely). So, I wrote on pessimism! I actually had a lot of fun with it :)

Pessimism

Certainly pessimism is a deeper understanding of what life is really like. It is the fine layer of chilled cement beneath the sunshine of the early morning; the thin coating of black ice cemented in the cracks between the bricks. Pessimism is the grade printout after midterms when you can only hope the numbers will rise. When life is pulling itself along like a slug across the sidewalk and all you can think is that the slug is sure to get run over. It is when you carve your name into the wet cement and it dries before you are done. You are forever known as only a fraction. Pessimism is the dandelion that sprouts out of the stringy grass trying to grow beautifully only to be sprayed down, to be killed. It is the life in the shadows reflecting what is there in the darkness; the snow piling upon the green grass, hiding the burning beauty of the fall leaves. It is the words spewed from the mouth of the wishful; the song in the car of the hopeful when the world is simply crashing down. Pessimism is the light at the end of the tunnel during a power outage; when the battery dies on your IPod during that inspirational song. It's when the person before you doesn't show up and your audition, you oral exam, your presentation, is that much sooner. Pessimism is that everyday nagging that maybe you'll forget to push snooze, that you'll turn the alarm off instead; that there won't be a second time, a second chance, a second try.

The Past

~The real person you are is revealed in the moments when you're certain no other person is watching. When no one is watching, you are driven by what you expect of yourself.

~Ralph S. Marston, Jr.

So many different emotions today-gotta love Mondays! We'll go with a positive note though, maybe it'll help my mood. I was thinking today, as I walked home from talking to the financial office, that I never expected to be here, never thought I would have the experiences I have or be in the situations I am in.

I remember writing in my journal the first week of 2009 about all the things that had happened the year before. It was amazing to look back on everything, big and small, that I had been through in only a year. From the people I met to the things I accomplished to how my everyday life had changed.

If I were to write out a list today (haha, assuming I had a few homework-free hours) it would be even more amazing now. Thinking about everything I've done since I came to BYU... I didn't know what it would be like to be six months into college, living away from home, trying to do my calling, going visiting teaching, planning and preparing for a semester in Paris, even just doing my own grocery shopping and not having to report everything I do to someone. Again, this list could go on and on :)

I remember thinking in middle school that I knew were my life was going, I had no choice. The school system basically dictated my life. I had years ahead of me going to middle school and high school and everything that went with that. It's crazy to think that right now, I don't have to be in school. The whole world is open to me now. I am old enough to decide what I want to do, when, and how. It's hard to wrap my mind around sometimes. I still feel bound by school, I guess I'll always have SOMETHING like that-school, work, etc. but now I get to choose what that is :)

Weekend

~People will forget what you said,

people will forget what you did,

but people will never forget how you made them feel.
~Maya Angelou

I went home for the weekend! Well, really that means Friday afternoon and Saturday as I came back to my student ward. I love going home, it's kind of like a vacation. Mostly I just love to see the family :)

Haha, so, I'm going to try to add pictures... we'lll see how it goes :)

Bronwen gets super excited whenever anyone comes over. Ususally I walk in the door and before I have my shoes off I am sitting with her in my lap holding a bone for her.

It started to snow Saturday and Bronwen went out to scratch in the slush and lick it out of the cracks in the cement.

Boz, Bronwen, and I

Pretty sure Scarlet took this picture, but it's the best one of my niece Lilly :)

My nephew Mahone-fighting with Boz

My niece Scarlet :)

I didn't get pictures of everyone-sadly. Still getting used to having a camera, remembering to use it, and getting people to let me take a picture :)

Swamped

~The idle man does not know what it is to enjoy rest, for he has not earned it.
~John Lubbock

Swamped with homework... it never ends. I had just started to feel like I was getting on top of it. Haha, I should have known... that's when you get more. I have had so much reading lately along with three tests in two days this week and three tests in two days next week. I've started on one final project and just got an assignment for another big research paper today.

Now, I have to say, I don't know what to do with myself when I don't have homework. I have already started figuring out what I want to do with over four months of summer. I have to have projects and things. I have taken summer classes for the last two years and even in the two weeks between semesters I got bored. I know, it's pathetic, but it is the truth.

I am thoroughly addicted, yes, addicted, to 'getting things done.' Haha, part of the reason this blog is updated every day, even though nobody reads it, is because I am totally OCD about it. Plus, it is on my list each day :)

(Though, I get to go home this weekend and when I go home it's like a vacation. I drop almost everything I have to do and just enjoy time at home, comfortable, and with family :) So we'll see.)

Daughtry 'September'

~When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch.
~Unknown


Alright, so I have found that I go through phases when it comes to music. Not types of music, or even artists, but certain songs. I'll love one song for a week or two and listen to it over and over... and then I find a new favorite. I love how music affects me, how it makes things better and puts things into perspective. So, I find a song that really explains how I'm feeling or one I can connect to.

I really like Daughtry. That isn't to say I like all their music but that I like a lot of it. Some of my favorite songs are 'Used To,' 'No Surprise,' 'Life After You,' 'Feels Like Tonight,' 'Home,' and 'Over You.' I recently found the song 'September' and thoroughly enjoy it :)

How the time passed away, all the trouble that we gave

And all those days we spent out by the lake

Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made

One by one they vanish just the same

-----

Of all the things I still remember

Summer's never looked the same

The years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

-----

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now on how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

-----

Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear

So we made our way by finding what was real

Now the days are so long that summer's moving on

We reach for something that's already gone, yeah

-----

Of all the things I still remember

Summer's never looked the same

The years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

-----

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now on how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

-----

We knew we had to leave this town

But we never knew when and we never knew how

We would end up here the way we are

Yeah, we knew we had to leave this town

But we never knew when and we never knew how

-----

Of all the things I still remember

Summer's never looked the same

The years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

-----

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain

Nothing left to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now on how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

I get something different out of this song each time I listen to it. Mostly, I've just decided that I am happy with my life. The last line of the song is probably my favorite. I don't know that I would go back and do anything differently. I've learned a lot from getting to where I am now.

I've also thought a lot lately about how things I always thought would be a big deal weren't. Like, getting my first job, my first car, graduating from high school, moving out... Yes, they were important and big things but life didn't seem so different. My life just seemed to smoothly move to the next thing. It's like your birthday. Everyone asks if you feel older. Does sixteen really feel different?! Does eighteen? And to you it's just another day (haha, besides the cake and attention and gifts). But really, one day someone asks you your age and you have to think because you don't feel like the number went up.

Man, I hope this makes some sense... I totally understand it in my head. I don't know that it has to do with the song, but it has been on my mind lately. I find it interesting to think about :)

Random Things

~Why try to be someone you're not. Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required.
~Robert Brault


Random things about me:

-I love the cold, the winter, and night time. (Though right now I really have Spring fever...)

-I am a night owl-I usually end up going to bed, not because I feel like it, but because I know I have to get up in the morning.

-I actually broke the snooze button on my old alarm clock-it was all crooked and made it that much harder to actually turn off the alarm

-Top fears: talking on the telephone, public speaking, spiders, heights

-I also have all kinds of weird worries from too many CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Bones, and other such murder shows... such as checking behind the shower curtain, checking my back seat when I get in the car, I don't stand too close to my car while unlocking it at night in case someone is under it, open blinds at night...

-I refuse to sleep by a window since Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when I was in fifth grade-despite knowing six extra feet really isn't going to save me

-I wish I could act-I think it would be so much fun!

-I've never broken a bone but I have had bunions, ingrown toenails, and tendenitous

-I have also had a black eye-which I got playing Frisbee with my brothers (note to self: never again play Frisbee with a golf Frisbee-they are heavy and painful)

-I cannot stand when people touch their veins-it seriously grosses me out

-I refuse to leave messages on answering machines

-One of my biggest pet peeves is the use of 'is' and 'are'-using 'is' when something is plural. But I catch myself doing it, which bothers me even more

-I can't wait to have a summer without school... and wish I had a spring break :)

-I absolutely hate 'Frosty the Snowman' and 'John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt'-worst songs ever!

-If I could change one thing about myself I would be more social

-I am a total perfectionist with OCD

-When I was younger that OCD was so bad I don't know how I got over it (I would only walk on certain colored tile, I had a certain pair of socks to where in the bathroom and laundry room, I washed my hands so much I had to wear gloves with cream stuff on my hands to bed because my skin looked like elephant skin, I would sit on my pockets at school but only on my knees at home... there were a lot of strange things)

-I am a procrastinator-this blog gives me another thing to do instead of homework :)

-I keep a to-do-list and only feel productive if I can mark 15-20 things off a day

-In high school I had to hide books from myself to get things done-or leave them in my locker at school

-I have never had a hamburger

-My favorite vacation was probably when we went to Disneyworld-because my whole family was together!

-When I was little I always carried a doll around and love babies now :)

-I would rather be deaf than blind (I have put much thought into this)

-I can recognize almost anyone I know by their walk

-I miss dancing so much and wish I could still do it :/

-I have an amazing bucket list and I am super excited to do everything on it!

AND

-I really need to get back to my homework... :)

Happy Monday

~The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.

~Dale Carnegie


Today has been a pretty great day! For a Monday with a lot of tests and stress and homework this week, I was kind of surprised. Though, I have found Mondays aren't too bad because I can get all the easy things on my to-do-list done and by the end of the week the harder things are left-which isn't so fun :)

We reviewed for my Elang. test-which I am so not ready for. I have never spent so much time reading a usage dictionary-something I didn't even know existed until three months ago-I know, kind of sad for an English major. Even worse for an Editing minor (though in my defense, I haven't declared my minor yet...) I was surprisingly calm preparing for and taking my French oral exam and feel like I at least did better than last time! And then I took my French written test. ~sigh~ those are rough. But I am extremely glad I studied the vocabulary, it was very useful.

I loved studying outside! It was so pretty and sunny and chilly (breezy, which is, in my mind better than being really hot). And I could even hear the birds chirping :) I honestly don't know where this good attitude came from but I kind of like it!

Now, on to my hours of studying and reading...

Puddles

~You can conquer almost any fear if you will make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.

~Dale Carnegie


I was reading through my poetry late last night and found the poem below. I wrote it for an assignment in my Creative Writing class last semester from the prompt: 'What you heard is true...' I had never written a prose poem before and kind of enjoyed it. I haven't written a poem in about three months-which I find quite sad. There are so many other things to do that I forget to write, or when I feel like writing I have to do something much more pressing. I forget that writing is what I want to do with my life, it is why I am in school, why I am studying English... Anyway, just wanted to share this poem :)



Puddles

What you have heard is true. I was the girl dancing in the rain, splashing through the puddles like a toddler. Spider webs of water rose about my feet; only to fall and rise again. Yes, people walked by with umbrellas, great spiny arches over dry heads. Paranoid of water. I flung my pale arms out and whirled in circles. My welcome to charcol clouds of life. The ground shimmered, water bounced. My hair clung in twisted clumps down my face. Clothes clung to me, sopping and heavy. Sure my makeup was running, I didn't care. By the time I saw a mirror, it would be gone. Voices scampered through my mind; things I chose to ignore. I would not get sick, I decided. It was entirely up to me. I was not making a fool of myself. I flopped down in the chilled water. I rose like flower peddles, enveloped me for but a moment. I ran my hands across the pelted surface, flipping water over my head. Clear dashes arced above me. I lay, watched it stream down upon my face. My meteor shower raining down. Uneven in its spacing, uneven in its fall. I went home, dried off, stayed inside, kept busy. Skipping through rain and splashing in puddles are not activities for adults. And sometimes, I even carry an umbrella.

Procrastination

~"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light somewhere nearby."
~Ruth E. Renkee

I don't understand the idea of procrastination. Yes, I do it-every single day. Even now, I am 'taking a break' from the homework I should be doing; homework that should have been done last week. Actually, I'm not behind, just have four tests in the next week or so that I need to study for. And even though my studying can't actually be 'done' and marked off my list of things to do until I take the test, I should have started a while ago.

I understand not wanting to do something. Everyday I would rather read a good book, watch a TV show, or take a nap instead of doing my homework. What doesn't make sense is the putting off what I have to do. Yes, I may be able to read a book in a night or crank out a paper in two or three hours but the stress leading up to it is pointless. If only I did my homework and then watched the TV show-then I would enjoy the show that much more. I have to do my homework anyway. Procrastinating doesn't make it go away...sadly :)

I think part of it is my being afraid of not having something to do. When I almost get done with my to-do-list I worry because I don't know what I'll do when I'm done. I guess I think it is better to enjoy life among the other things. Taking breaks makes the day better-rather than killing myself for a day doing everything I have to and having a lot of free time in which I only feel lazy. But I don't know what is better.

I realize my to-do-list will never be done. I figure there will always be something I am procrastinating. Doesn't everyone do that? How in the world do you avoid it?

A Name

Quote that has nothing to do with the rest of the post:

~"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do."
~Henry Ford

It amazes me how your parents can pick a name for you before you are born and it seems to fit perfectly. Most people I can't imagine having a different name. Yes, I know I am used to them going by a certain name but when I meet new people and hear their name for the first time, it just fits. Sometimes I don't realize I know several people with the same name. Actually, going through the contacts on my phone and my friends on Facebook, there are a lot I didn't realize until just now.

I am friends with 5 Jessica's on Facebook. And yet they are all so different it doesn't seem like they have the same name. I can't imagine what it's like to know someone with the same name as you. I have never met another Bergan, though I have heard people say they know people with my name. Really, I enjoy the fact that my name is unique. Yes, people say it wrong a lot. In fact, there was a girl once who called me 'Burgundy' for two days. That was back in middle school when I was too shy to correct her.

Someone knowing your name gives them a lot of power over you. I know this sounds weird but we talked about it in my Literary Criticism class last semester. When someone says, "Hey you!" you can ignore them. When they use your name, this is much more difficult. Not only that but it sounds more sincere when they use your name. It means they know who you are, more than just recognizing your face. Have you ever noticed how people react differently when you call them by name? I've seen it and experienced it.

A name means a lot, it really identifies a person. Not only that, but a name brings to mind a certain image and feeling; just like saying 'sunshine' automatically makes you feel happy. A name has a reputation and it comes to define you. People joke around saying, "That's my name, don't wear it out!" But maybe it's not bad to 'wear it out' if it is positive, if it is used greatly.

Testing

I just have to say I disagree with tests. No, I don't have a better idea but I still disagree with tests. A paper I can handle. I can put that on my to-do-list and check it off. I can crank one out in a few hours and get an A. I can print it out and hold it in my hands, see what I've done. I can't do that with a test.

Okay, so a test is tangible. Whatever. I can look at it for the five minutes allotted in class after its been graded... No, I'm talking about preparing for the test, where the grade really comes from. It's difficult to check off 'study French' on my to-do-list. I never feel like I am actually done. It's not effective to cram for a few hours and be done (though I do it...and don't do so great on tests). I can't visibly see how much I've studied and how much it will help me. Somehow I always tend to study the things not on the test and the essay question is the one thing I remember telling myself I just didn't need to know, the thing I was too lazy to look up.

I did write a paper senior year in my English class about how I didn't like tests. They are so particular. It's right or it's wrong. There is no in between on a test. It's 'B' or it's not. The worst are the English tests...'what is the BEST title for this article?' That is an opinion question. I almost liked the math sections of standardized tests better just because there really was ONE answer; they weren't cheating me out of points. My English teacher agreed with me. We didn't have tests in that class... I just had to read every paper I wrote standing in front of the class...

My professors now seem to pride themselves in their tests. They have spent years creating tests they like-which I respect-and feel they are the best way to test us. I have never been very good at tests but these are not my thing. They are all about really making sure you know it-meaning writing paragraphs. On my British Literary History test I had to define 'sublime.' Ya, didn't think I did so great on that question. Yes, they test our real understanding, no, I obviously don't understand.

I have this test coming up next week... 35% of my grade. I'm starting to freak out. It will all be memorization. It is for my Modern American Usage class and deals with all these debates of usage in English. There is a list of all the things we should know and the day of the test we will, as a class, do five of the items pulled out of a bowl. We will have a sheet of paper and, say, 'If/Whether' and we will have to write the debate, traditional rule, history on some, examples, and consensus. As I haven't really started studying, I don't know much more than that besides how no one is excited and lots of people in my class know people who have taken it before...the comments are not comforting :) This class has made me all too aware of how I use language. Though, most of the time I know there is a debate but then I can't remember how I am supposed to say something. It becomes frustrating :)

That about sums that up. I could rant for hours but that wouldn't be a good thing and I should really start studying... though I probably won't. One good thing about having a test every three days...you stress one at a time and move on.

Status

Hi, my name's Bergan and I'm a Facebook-aholic. No, I don't think that's an actual word but it works for me. As January 2009 started I had a few friends who had a New Year's resolution to only get on Facebook every other day. I listened to them talk of how difficult it was and just didn't understand. It wasn't until a month later that I finally somehow convinced my parents to let me get a Facebook myself. Thirteen months later, I can hardly go a few hours without getting on. I went home one weekend in January, hung out with some friends, and we ended up having a sleepover. By midnight it had been at least six hours since I had been on and we took turns passing my laptop around so we could all get our fix.

Now, I try to only update my status every day or so. Some days I have a ton of things I could say; others I don't know that I want to share what's really going on. I don't really like the comments of 'what's wrong?' and 'it's okay, be happy.' They sound cheesy and I have a hard time believing everyone really wants to know. So, I put up a quote or lyrics to a song that I happen to have listened to all night as it fits my mood perfectly. And sometimes, this doesn't work.

Back in January I put as my Facebook status one night: '~how is it that you can care so much about something and have it not matter one bit?'

Now, I am not going to explain what I was feeling that night. I do remember but I put it this way for a reason. I just have to say, I feel like this a lot. How is it that we can care and want to do something and hope for something and it doesn't matter? Maybe not that no one cares but that it doesn't change.

I am a shy person. Anyone who has ever been around me can attest to that. It's no secret. Not many people have seen the real me and I think I scare some that have. I can be generally sarcastic (often interpreted as rude) and not very many people seem to understand my sarcasm. I can be loud and not think about what I am saying-which isn't always a good thing. I am random and not afraid to look stupid when I can just be me. There is the hyper, out of control me that doesn't come up often and I'm not going to go into that :)

I am thoroughly sick of being shy. I have to say it sucks-besides the whole people thinking you're smart because you haven't opened your mouth to prove them wrong yet. When you know you're not smart it's almost just depressing :) But every time I am social and feel like I'm getting better something happens and I feel like I'm back where I started, feel like I'm back in eighth grade. Back then I could go a whole week of school and not talk to a single person there. Everyone ignored me and I got comfortable ignoring them. Group projects and All Star games were rough but I convinced myself I didn't care. Since ninth grade I've been better but some days feel like eighth grade.

Sometimes I wish I could somehow compare the way I am now with how I was a year ago, two years ago, my first day of high school... I want to know how far I really have come. Maybe it's not far but it is something I am willing to hear the blunt honest truth about. Maybe that's because I know it will never happen.

Quote on Twilight

As I am a procrastinator, I have spent the last several hours working on my Twilight essay. As I wrote before, I am discussing the messages the books send teenage girls about love and fairytale lives. It isn't going quite the way I expected but I believe a rough draft is just about getting everything out and I quite enjoy editing. There is one quote I would like to share. This comes from a book called Touched by a Vampire by Beth Felker Jones.

"No real man is a marble statue of perfection. What's more, no real man should be. Part of the fun of loving someone is in loving him flaws and all. A perfect marble statue can't cry with you, or share your weakness for potato chips, or allow you to see if he is struggling or afraid."

Locked Out

Just been thinking about those times when I do something really stupid and embarassing. Sad, I know :) But then I look back on them and it was such fun. Or, at the very least, a story to tell. The first one that comes to mind was in the Fall of senior year.

We decided to go to all the football games that year and I was driving this particular week in September. So, we drove around for a half hour or so to pick everyone up-haha, always great fun! The football game was at home, thank goodness really, and had already started when I parked the car. I hate being late for things so I am going to say that was why I stepped out of my car, locked the door, and started walking without a second thought. If it hadn't been for one friend getting her jacket caught in the door, we probably would have just walked into the game. As I laughed at her misfortune I reached for my keys, normally hooked to my beltloop, and they weren't there. Within seconds I realized not only were they still in my car but still in the ignition.

Not my brightest moment.

Now, my car has locks that have to be pushed down manually. I have a habit of reminding everyone to lock their doors when we get out of the car. This came from experience of siblings and friends not locking the door-which worries me. Not only that, but one friend in particular is very lax about such things and one time we came back to the car and not only was the door unlocked but open, though only cracked, with the window partly rolled down...

So, as we stepped out of the car at the high school I went though the list: Lock your doors, roll up your windows, CLOSE the door.... I may have even thrown in 'leave the seatbelt in the car' as that was once an issue as well. I regreted saying all that about thirty seconds later. The irony is that everyone really did everything that time and we had no way to get back into my car.

I called my dad, extremely worried as to how he would take it. Though, I'm pretty sure I laughed through the whole conversation. My parents were still worried about how having friends in the car affected my driving and this wasn't helping. So, the four of us stood there, one attached to the car, watching for my dad's silver truck and listening to the roar from the stadium and the depressing hum of my stationwagon. We live close to the school but it seemed to take forever. Only one group of people walked by-thankfully. They didn't have any bobby pins-as someone had the idea to try and break in. It didn't work :)

My dad came, unlocked the car, we got my keys out and my friend's jacket freed from the door. We were only twenty or so minutes late for the game and my parents were surprisingly calm. I got a lot of crap about it though, for several months. Every time I got out of my car, alone or with someone else, I held up my keys and looked to make sure they were in my hand as I locked and closed my car door. I don't worry so much now, I've had a year and a half without incident, but it is one of those stories that I just have to laugh at. I almost wish more things like that happened...