"It is not the ctitic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

~Theodore Roosevelt

Sunday, March 20, 2011

[In]Dependence

~I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
~Joseph Barett

Alright, I don't even know what to write. When I miss two days I feel like I have so much to say. And often times I start writing posts in my head. But then I'm not by my computer and I don't take the time to write them down. The problem is that I already feel like I wrote them. Like I got everything out that I needed to. Which doesn't make for very good blogging, does it?

I have realized something lately. Well, I guess I knew it before. But I've been more aware. I have a hard time depending on other people. I really do. I like to know what's gonna happen, when, where, and who's going. I'm talking about lots of situations here. Like my visiting teaching that I didn't know about until the day of. Or group projects. Or FHE. There are tons of things!

And then, I like to be able to do things for myself. It's a good thing my dad started teaching me when I was young to let guys open the door for me. For one, I can do it myself. For two, I hate going first. Which kind of contradicts my doing things for myself. But then it goes back to depending on people cuz if I go first I don't know what they are doing or if they're going to follow me. I hate the group projects cuz I feel like I could do things better myself-and you never know if everyone is going to follow through. Or planning FHE last year and never knowing if the other leaders where going to remember and be prepared.

I know, it kind of sounds like I'm talking bad about a whole bunch of people. But I'm not. It's my problem. Life is all about relationships and talking to other people and working with other people. And people are people. They probably feel the same way about me most the time.
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