Unexpected

~True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

~Erich Segal

After how much I've wanted to blog the last few days and haven't, it's kind of sad that I really don't feel like writing today. I feel like it should be Thursday or Friday it's been such a long week. I cannot wait for the three day weekend! I am so excited to go home for three and a half days! Though, I realize this will be my last break for more than two months. Haha, that kind of sucks...

Six and a half weeks into this semester-and I'm just so happy that I've made it this far, that I have something behind me. First round of testing done... and though my teachers seem to think my scores aren't very good compared to everyone else, I think most of them aren't so bad. Haha, that's kind of sad. I used to be good at school. I used to get As-and Bs in my college credit classes. I graduated high school with a 3.85 GPA and my Associates Degree. And here I sit, in college, with a 2.9, dying in all my classes. I realize that might not be something I should share on here, but really, that's the way it is. I'm not so smart when it comes to college.

My first few weeks at BYU I heard a lot of the freshmen talk about how they felt so average here cuz everyone seemed so smart. I talked to a senior in my French class and she told me how it was harder to get good grades here. I guess I've used these things as an excuse for myself. If everyone else is struggling, I guess I'm not doing so bad... But I sit in my English classes and they all talk about all the classic books and plays and essays. And I have heard of some of them. I sit in my editing classes and everyone rattles off word categories and phrase types and I think I know what adverbs are. I sit in my religion classes praying I'll remember everything I've learned since primary because of all things in my life, I should know my own religion.

But I haven't read all the classics. I don't know all the parts of speech. And I don't remember every story and doctrine in the scriptures and where they're found. I realize I have time to learn these things. I'm only 19. I'm not even half-way done with my studies here at BYU. But I feel so far behind sometimes. I have a hard enough time with what we're doing in class that adding learning everything I guess I should already know is just too much to do at the same time. My grammar teacher explained today that a mechanic has to know all the parts of a car and how they work to be able to fix it. And an editor has to know all the parts of speech to be able to work with it well. And I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up.

I don't mean to make this a pity-me post. And I don't need reassurance that I'll make it through school or that it'll come to me. Anyone can tell me that and it doesn't make it true. Besides, I know it myself. I just wanted to put that out there. Haha, my longest post in days and I totally didn't mean to go there.