"It is not the ctitic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

~Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Controlling My Life

~The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
~Bob Moawad

Today in my American Literary History class we were talking about a quote that talked about the worst kind of slavery being that in which you are your own slave-driver. Now, not that I necessarily agree with the quote in that I do believer slavery to be very bad, but I thought it was an interesting concept.

We talked about what kinds of things made us slaves to ourselves. The things that we do that we don't want to do... really, the only thing that came up was homework. And honestly, that's all I was thinking too. Because it is the thing that I deal with daily that I don't want to do. Someone pointed out that at least homework is a necessity. That we decided to go to school and it will only last so long. This is true. But sometimes it does feel like a ball and chain that I'm dragging around.

My plan is to go to school for the next 14 months straight... maybe a week or two off between certain semesters. I try not to think about it. The thing that I am paying for, that I willingly chose, that I moved here to do, is what is drowning me every single day... haha, kind of depressing to think about it that way.

I have a "weirdness" paper due Thursday. I haven't started. No surprise really. I am quite the procrastinator. But I have no clue where to start. I have to find something that was weird in something we've read and write a paper on it. Not only is that one of the strangest paper assignments I've ever had but I am scared to write it. My teacher says she has a built-in BS detector. She says she spends hours reading each paper. And she gave me an F on my last paper-said it was pointless.

I am an English major. I would like to say I can write pretty well. Granted, that last paper was pretty crappy-I was sick and had no idea how to write an argumentative thesis on one word. My grade is struggling and I worry that the same thing will happen all over again...

So yes, I've blogged three times today, done all my D&C homework for the week, done almost all my American Lit homework for the week, wrote a letter, did some French, wrote in my journal some, and watched a little TV.

10:17... I just want to go to bed and never write this paper!

I'm sorry I complain so much when I have tests and papers. But I do stress about such things a lot and it comes out on here :)
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