Friends

~A friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
~Elbert Hubbard

Yesterday I hung out with some of my friends from high school. Some I see every week or so; others I see every three or four months. And while I've missed hanging out with them, it was like a flashback. We all look a little older. We've all had jobs, gone to school, or moved out. But I was surprised by how the same everything was.

I'm really glad I go to BYU because there is no way I could handle another college environment-I know myself. After a month or two at BYU I was back at Copper Hills picking up my brother from school and visiting my lit-mag teacher. I was surprised by the swearing, immodesty, and overall bad environment... which I was happy about on some level-happy that I noticed it. I had become desensitized to it all in seventh grade-I was happy that didn't last.

I guess I had kind of forgotten how bad it could get with some of my friends. I've forgotten how to think through everything I say just in case it might be taken wrong. This isn't to give a bad image of my friends. I'd have to say one on one they guard themselves better than in a whole group and not all of them are like that. But it's been a while since I felt like the innocent outsider who didn't get what everyone was laughing at every two seconds.

But I love that we have things we can laugh about from high school and that I still talk to them-often or not. I only wish some of us went to the same college :)

Texting

~The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875. In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.
~Bill DeWitt

I really like texting. This isn't hard to believe when you know me because I hate talking on the phone. Okay, I don't just hate it-it scares me. I really do literally shake and freak out. I actually use my phone to call people maybe once or twice a week.

So, some things really do need to be discussed on the telephone, it's true. But a lot of things can be said over text. No, you can't hear tone of voice or any of that, but there are other ways. I honestly love to use the little smiley faces and exclamation points for emphasis. And I'll use things like idk, btw, and maybe ttyl. But I really really dislike lol. Whether it is put in the middle of a sentence or the only thing in the text, it drives me crazy. I guess, in my head, it sounds mocking :/

I admit, I use "haha" quite a bit-depending on who I am talking to. But it sounds more like what a laugh would sound like-at least to me. Maybe the people I text find it offensive or annoying too...

I've also learned that how fast you answer a text says a lot. I guess this goes without saying. But I hate to wait to respond when I get a text-drives me crazy. Immediately means you're eager-or waiting-or always on your phone, I guess :) Give it a couple of minutes and it's pretty much the opposite.

I don't text all the time or that many people anymore, but I love the option to text :)

Pictures :)

~I hate cameras. They are so much more sure than I am about everything.
~John Steinbeck

For the record, I don't hate cameras-I just thought this was a very interesting quote and a different way to look at pictures :)

So, I'm working on remembering to use my camera. I never seem to have it when I could get a good picture. That, and I feel weird walking around taking pictures or trying to get people to pose for me. So, here are my attempts in the last week or so at taking more pictures :)

So, Bronwen got shots on Friday :( She slept a lot on Saturday and this is probably my favorite picture-she looks so comfortable :)

Sometimes when Mom is gone, Bronwen won't do anything but sit on the couch and wait for her. This is from one day we thought she would be home soon... under that pink blanket, ya, that's Boz's head :)


Bronwen likes the dogs next door. She'll go to one part of the fence, bark or just look through the cracks, and race to another part of the fence and do the same thing. It's pretty cute :)


This is Bronwen's favorite toy :)



Biege, Boz, and I were sitting on the couch and took a ton of silly pictures. This is one of the most normal looking ones :)


This is one where we were ALL being silly.

We were outside-for some reason-and Boz and I found this pile of ants. (what do you call a bunch of ants? Swarm? Gaggle? Gang? Herd? Haha, idk)

Boz took my camera and got some pretty cool pictures. This is one of my favorites :)

Had to Write SOMETHING

~Laziness in nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
~Jules Renard

Well, it's been a while. But with all four of my followers being family, since I moved home I haven't felt much need to blog. Or maybe it's safer to blog when I'm at college because I don't see the people who read it. Haha, or maybe, I'm just lazy. Yep, that's pretty much it :)

I've been out of school for almost a month now and have done absolutely nothing productive. In fact, I am very behind on a lot of things now. This is the longest I've gone without going to school since I started my junior year...almost three years ago. As ready as I was for a break, school provides structure and keeps me doing something-helps me feel productive. Haha, I almost don't know what to do anymore.

I have always loved to read. In fact, it is a weakness. I can pick up a book and read for hours and hours-caused many a late night. I still love to read but don't read much for fun because of school-especially as an English major. In the summer I read a lot of fun but pointless books that I forget as soon as I start the next one. In fact, I was just at the library today and I get some really teenage, drama, high school books... oh well :)

Lately I have also watched a lot of TV... almost better than movies because you can actually see the characters' lives and not just an important event or a month of time. But I have learned I become too attached to characters :/

I think it's fun to get out of my own life and not worry about everything I'm supposed to be doing. But, I guess that's kind of an obvious point. Then again, I've been thinking about it-I may wish I was in a certain situation or had a certain character's life... but I wouldn't just want their experiences. I'm very glad we have books, TV, and movies so I can "experience" all kinds of different things :)

It's Ending

~If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake.
~F. Wikzek

So, I move home in two days. I've been looking forward to this for a while and yesterday it started to sink in... that my "freshman" year is really going to be over. I think I am going to miss it-which is crazy cuz I haven't particularly loved going through it.

We had our last day of church in our ward yesterday. We were all released and they put in a new bishopric for next semester. We heard from the old bishopric-our bishopric-and their wives for sacrament. There was a lot of sniffling-especially when we sang "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" for the closing hymn. We then had testimony meeting for both Relief Society and Sunday School. It was saddening to realize I wouldn't see a lot of the people again. But then, it's not like I knew most of my ward-like a lot of people said of themselves in church, I haven't been very social.

I've learned a lot this year-more than I could ever explain in a blog post. And a lot of it is too personal to put in a blog post. I'd like to say it's all been worth it. And I guess it has. There are a lot of things I would have done differently if I could do it all again. Probably more than the things I would have done the same. But I guess that's how the learning process goes.

I got excited when I thought how I won't have to go to the testing center until January 2011 :) or how I will only be in school three of the next eight months! But then I got kind of sad. I like being in "the bubble" here in Provo. I love how everyone is modest, there aren't drugs and alcohol, there isn't swearing... I hear people talking everyday about missions, the temple, Family Home Evening, callings, the scriptures... I walk past classrooms and hear them singing hymns and reciting the Standard of Truth... or how we all had fun joking before our French final but when it came down to it, everyone wanted to have a class prayer before we started.

I've never been so close to the Lord, never read my scriptures so much, never felt the Spirit so often. I know I can take that with me but being here has made me focus more, grow more. I may not miss the messy apartment, the frustrating school work, my lack of a friends, or the loneliness on a Friday night alone in my room... but I will miss some important things.

I don't like school. I want to be done with the homework, papers, and tests as soon as possible-but I am glad I will be coming back to BYU next winter, glad I have another chance...

Exams

~Why Study For Exams.... Are they not about what you know, not about how much you can cram into your head the night before?

can't focus. Can't Focus. CAN'T FOCUS! Ya, that's about all I have to say. As I see it, I have no hope of feeling like I aced a test. I know that it's just a guessing game, a bs-ing opportunity, and that I will feel like crap the whole three hours.

...but, what does it matter? Haha, it's terrible but I just cannot get myself to care anymore. I haven't yet failed a class; somehow I manage to pass everything... I know, bad attitude-but that's alright. I'm mostly just worried about loosing my scholarship because of a bad GPA-that and an oral French proficiency test I have to take... ~sigh~ but it'll all be over in five days. Somehow.

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(I'm not entirely sure where the picture is from but I think it's graphjam.com)

Stress Quote

So, I went home yesterday for a much needed break-which was so awesome. But then I came back and decided I just don't really care about school anymore and can't wait to move home. Haha, I did go to a study group and a study session and spent a while in the library studying-though every time I sit down to do it I get a major headache-ugh!

Anyway, seeing as I can't seem to be positive lately-and have taken a four hour nap and watched several TV shows in stead of studying, here is a quote I really like:

~One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
~BertrandRussell

Take it as you will :)