It's Ending

~If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake.
~F. Wikzek

So, I move home in two days. I've been looking forward to this for a while and yesterday it started to sink in... that my "freshman" year is really going to be over. I think I am going to miss it-which is crazy cuz I haven't particularly loved going through it.

We had our last day of church in our ward yesterday. We were all released and they put in a new bishopric for next semester. We heard from the old bishopric-our bishopric-and their wives for sacrament. There was a lot of sniffling-especially when we sang "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" for the closing hymn. We then had testimony meeting for both Relief Society and Sunday School. It was saddening to realize I wouldn't see a lot of the people again. But then, it's not like I knew most of my ward-like a lot of people said of themselves in church, I haven't been very social.

I've learned a lot this year-more than I could ever explain in a blog post. And a lot of it is too personal to put in a blog post. I'd like to say it's all been worth it. And I guess it has. There are a lot of things I would have done differently if I could do it all again. Probably more than the things I would have done the same. But I guess that's how the learning process goes.

I got excited when I thought how I won't have to go to the testing center until January 2011 :) or how I will only be in school three of the next eight months! But then I got kind of sad. I like being in "the bubble" here in Provo. I love how everyone is modest, there aren't drugs and alcohol, there isn't swearing... I hear people talking everyday about missions, the temple, Family Home Evening, callings, the scriptures... I walk past classrooms and hear them singing hymns and reciting the Standard of Truth... or how we all had fun joking before our French final but when it came down to it, everyone wanted to have a class prayer before we started.

I've never been so close to the Lord, never read my scriptures so much, never felt the Spirit so often. I know I can take that with me but being here has made me focus more, grow more. I may not miss the messy apartment, the frustrating school work, my lack of a friends, or the loneliness on a Friday night alone in my room... but I will miss some important things.

I don't like school. I want to be done with the homework, papers, and tests as soon as possible-but I am glad I will be coming back to BYU next winter, glad I have another chance...