"It is not the ctitic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

~Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Three Weeks

~What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do - especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
~William Least Heat Moon

Alright, I know I don't blog enough. Until recently I couldn't listen to music at work... and sewing elastic in a straight line as fast as you can all day gets boring. So, I wrote blog posts in my head. Thus, I did not care to do it all over again when I got home :) I know, bad excuse, but true. I think I was starting to go insane with the conversations and things I did to keep myself entertained all day.

But honestly, besides that, there isn't a lot to write. Well... I have a lot to say to my journal, but not much I want to put out on the Internet for everyone to see.

I'm supposed to leave for Paris three weeks from tomorrow. Supposed to. Besides the fact that I have no money, no plane ticket, can't speak French, and don't know anyone going, I'm scared to death. I can't really see myself going. When I applied for the program back in January, September seemed forever away. I can't imagine myself living in another country for three months.

Ya, it's only 88 days, but looking back 88 days ago from today... a lot has changed. I've found I really admire the missionaries who go wherever they are called for two years. And I can call home and email whenever I want.

Back in January I had nothing to lose going. I was getting used to not seeing my family for three or four weeks. I didn't really talk to my roommates, and thus had no one to room with come fall anyway. My friends were all over and I only saw, like, two of them every few months. I was getting sick of school in Provo... and there really are some stereotypical annoying BYU things that just get to you after a while.

Things are different now. Ya, I still don't have any friends at BYU, no one to room with. But four months at home changes things.

I don't really know where this post is going-I just felt like I should post something and sometimes when I try to write in my journal I get overwhelmed because I have to explain everything.
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1 comment:

  1. ShalynnAugust 18, 2010 at 1:19 AM

    THANK YOU for blogging Bergan! I love reading your posts! I hope things start to become more clear for you. I wish Biege and I could help. You should come over one night and hang out with us. We miss you! Love you lots! Let me know if I can do anything to help. :)

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